Has your sex life gone stale? Between kids, work, the economy and other pressures, steamy sex may seem like a fantasy. (Although there’s a place for that too!) Are you ready to turn up the heat again? These tips will help get you in the mood, both physically and mentally...Learn more about The Health Benefits of Sex Toys
Sweaty bodies, tangled sheets, moaning… It sounds X-rated, but it could be real life.Read on for the top 19 tips and other things you need to know to have the best sex ever, even if you’ve already got a great sex life (there’s always room for improvement, right?).
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Know That You’re Entitled to Fabulous Sex
So what if you haven’t lost the baby weight, certain body parts aren’t as high as they used to be or you have a pimple the size of a volcano. It doesn’t matter.
When you’re in bed and making love, your partner’s not worried about any little imperfections a woman might have,” says Hilda Hutcherson, M.D., author of Pleasure: A Woman’s Guide to Getting the Sex You Want, Need and Deserve (Perigee).Besides, his body probably isn’t perfect either. Do most guys let a large belly or back hair get in the way of a good time? Well, follow his lead.
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Make a Date
Scheduling sex might sound too controlling to be much fun, but sometimes planning is in order. You book time in your calendar to work out and run errands – why not do the same to prioritize sex?
This is important, so you have to make room for it and push it forward,” Dr. Hutcherson says.Reconnecting with your partner as a lover – not roommates or parents – reminds you why you were attracted to him in the first place. And once you’ve made a sex appointment, the anticipation can be almost as titillating as the event. So kick it up a notch by trading racy texts or leaving a sultry voicemail on his cell.
3. Forget About “Normal”
Surveys show that American women have a wide variety of sex:
17% have tried bondage
20% have used a blindfold
30% have had anal sex
62% masturbate (usually three to four times a week)
40% use vibrators
14% look at online porn
70% need clitoral stimulation to slide into home plate
18% opt for oral sex
Your quirks and predilections aren’t so strange, so quit worrying and enjoy...Sexpert Advice About Sex Toys You Must Know!
.4. Leave the Porn Positions to the Pros
Unless Jenna Jameson is your alter ego, your guy probably doesn’t expect you to do the Reverse Cowgirl with a Half-Gainer in the bedroom.“There are a lot of ridiculous standards out there about how women should be or look or act,” says Michele Sugg, a certified sex therapist in Branford, Conn. “Let all that go. Reality is, men are turned on by you.”Your partner will be aroused by seeing you turned on too
.5. Lube Up
The right lubricant can make so-so sex great. There are several types of lube to try, including water- and silicone-based, so experiment to see what works best for you.
As a general rule, avoid anything that warms, cools or tastes like a fruit roll-up; these can irritate the skin, says Ellen Barnard, sex educator/counselor and co-owner of A Woman’s Touch in Madison, Wis
- Get Squeaky Clean Use mouthwash and baby wipes. Keeping everything fresh is just good manners, right?
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Go Fish
Fish oil reduces inflammation, blood pressure and dangerous LDL cholesterol. But guess what? It also helps open up those very small blood vessels down there.Plus, fish oil boosts the testosteronein your body (yes, women have this hormone, too), so “you notice your arousal more quickly,” Barnard explains.You can get a hefty dose of fish oil by eating salmon, mackerel, lake trout, sardines or herring twice a week, but it may be easier to take supplements. -
Trade Pain for Pleasure
Sex should feel amazing. If it’s painful, you need to figure out why. It may be a simple matter of changing positions or adding lubricant.
But it could also be a yeast infection, an undiagnosed STD, endometriosis, painful bladder syndrome, vulvodynia, or even cancer. Don’t try to diagnose it on your own; see your gynecologist. And check out “5 Sex Problems Women Face.”
“There can be emotional reasons for painful sex, particularly for women who’ve been raised in religious households or who’ve been sexually abused or raped,” Sugg says.
Medication Can Hurt Your Libido
- Some medicationscan blunt your sex drive, including antidepressants, blood pressure medications, even birth control pills.If you haven’t been feeling as frisky as you’d like, talk to your doctor about whether your prescription might be putting the chill on your libido. You might be able to take a lower dose or switch to a different drug.
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Get to Know Yourself
Forget what you see in movies: Only about 30% of women reach orgasm through penetration alone. That means a whopping 70% of us need hands-on help to cross the finish line.“It’s not all up to your partner,” Sugg says. “Share the responsibility and take on pieces of your own sexual pleasure.”
Touch yourself to bump up the heat, so you can have more – and better – orgasms, she says.